Last week, Steam’s Summer Sale launched with a bang. The minigames are back, pet aliens can be earned, and (most importantly) that third copy of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is only $19.99. It’s the perfect time to harvest your wishlist en masse, adding every indie game and RPG to your hoard. Unless you’re like me, that is, and used Steam’s new “External Funds Used” tracker just before the sale started.

Over the past nine years, I’ve spent around $1,400 on Steam. That’s kind of shocking, seeing as I never buy games at full price, and had a terrible PC until 2013. I haven’t even finished many games lately, though indies and Dota 2 have got plenty of attention.

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Armed with this info, the thought of buying another game stings. Sure, sites like have given estimates of my library’s worth for years. But there’s something about seeing an exact amount in an that strikes shame into my heart. The thought becomes unbearable when I consider third-party sources for some games - I can’t count the number of Humble Bundles I’ve purchased in the past decade.

I’m not ashamed of the total itself, even though $1,400 would pay for a decent computer. A large sum was bound to pile up over the course of a few years, after all. Rather, I’m disappointed that I was caught off-guard by my expenditures. I should be keeping much better track of how my finances and gaming habits intertwine. It’s not bad that I’ve spent a lot on videogames; it’s bad that I hadn’t noticed. It’s even worse that I don’t think I’ve taken advantage of my haul.